Thanks for Stopping By




Night times are the worst. It’s the hour of danger, and in my case, it’s the hour of thirst.

I drink water before I go to bed, although it’s recommended that we don’t.  
I keep a full glass of water on my table and fall asleep but sometime during the night, I awaken – to thirst.

The dryness constricts my throat and my impulse forces me to jerk up and stretch over to the glass.

I sleep.


I wake up once more for another gulp that I know will end the contents of the glass.

I sleep again....
..... only to be awakened.

I know the glass is empty.

I must now take off the blanket that I am ever so protected beneath and expose myself to the chill beyond my room.

I feel like a zombie now, not able to see what is before me I bump slightly into the wall on the way out.  Heading into the kitchen I don’t turn on the light as the pain to turn it off will haunt me in the seconds I’m there.

I fill my glass assuming the water reached the rim and walk out carefully. 

On the way in, I bump into the wall again.

I can’t comprehend what ever feeling of hurt I might have undergone because my brain is dead and my eyes refuse to stay apart.

Slamming the glass down, I fall onto my bed allowing myself to be entangled within the sheets to a not so perfect sleep.


You Have Been Banished.

Talking about my vacation is probably not a good idea.  Why? When I have to explain something so vast, I’d have to make sure I won’t miss out on any details and it’s such an enormous thing to write about. 

If I did miss something, it would be incomplete and I’m paranoid that everything requires an explanation or the essence of that event is not justified.  Hence, I will not be writing about my vacation [which I am currently still on and enjoying].


Sometimes good, sometimes bad.  8 years does a lot to a person. It changes them for the better and sometimes it changes them for the worse.  

What was I thinking when I thought people would be as ecstatic as me? Was my assumption of them throwing everything aside to meet me a little over the top?  

I know a lot of people and a lot of people did I wish to visit.  Only some stayed true to their feelings and the others decided to not let me know either way.  

That hurt me. 

When you said you’d do something and then go off the grid, it leaves me confused if not frustrated.  Why would you say something like that and then decide to not communicate later? 

When I came here, I was happy. 

Happy that maybe people have grown up and changed, but no.  People have grown meaner.  I had to erase some of them when I came here and although it was painful, I realized that you shouldn’t treat someone like a celebrity. 

Some of us are on very different levels.

I higher than them. Vanity? No. just the facts of life laid across in front of me.

What can I do? 


Accept it, never look back and move on.  My real friends told me to not worry about it.  I am grateful for the remaining friends I have here who always genuinely looked forward to meeting me. 
Why did I think I needed to be associated with everyone else? I don’t know.

I am here right now, with the people who want to be with me. I am with people where our feelings our mutual.

My advice? Do not run around people who you have to constantly remind about your presence.

I can’t wait to meet the rest of my friends, and I mean my real friends.

As for you, you have now been banished from my life.