Thanks for Stopping By



If I was to come down and help you would you do the same for me?
Would you be grateful or would you just accept it because you were getting something done for free?
Would you take me for granted or would you look back to all those times I helped you and instead of not thinking about yourself for a while, think about doing a nice thing for me?
Would you put on a fake smile whenever I’m near you and talk behind my back once I leave? Would you ever let me in,or would you let me walk into your trap doors?
They say keep your friends close and your enemies closer. How close should I keep you?


the dark.

the dark. many people refer to this word. but its got just as many meanings to it as the number of people referring to it. for me the dark is a place where i'm me. no one can see me . no one can see what I'm doing. i feel safe. it's for me. I've got space. i;m in a place knowing that no ones watching me. i can think in peace. the dark for me means that i get to be alone. its not something i'm afraid of, nor do i want to. the darkness is a reminder to me that not everything is visible to you. sometimes you need to search for things that even though is in front of you, you need to look for .the dark around me is a test. to see if i can find myself in it. its a place for me to calm myself. to allow myself to take in whats around me by not just how things look, but how it allows me to think with my mind, not with my eyes. the darkness is equality personified. it blackens everything around us so that even the most beautiful things in the world are nothing but plain darkness. . every one can find their way in the light, but can you still survive in the dark?  people say that light is a sign of freedom. of happiness, of the end of a journey through the dark times. but would light have been rejoiced so much if their was no darkness? to understand the day, you need the night. to understand good, you need bad , and to understand light, you need darkness.

Don't You Hate It?

 don't you hate it  when you've done something so well, and you know that you've put in all your effort and that just doesn't seem enough?
the constant nagging of "your not good enough", "keep working", etc rings in your ears all the time and  its like no matter how much you try, people don't seem to appreciate what you've done.
your trying to bring out the good and they don't see any of that.
its like everything you do has a flaw. its like you endless well of flaws and no matter how much you've changed, its just not enough.
your never making them happy.
your never upto their standards.
its devastating.
 you want them to know your doing well, and that your trying and that your pushing yourself as far as you'l go. you want them to acknowledge your efforts.
you want them to know that your sincere in what your doing.
you want them to give you a break.
you want them to get off your freaking back and let you live the way you want.
you want to go away, but you cant.
your stuck.
your forced to live the way you are and be the victim, your never perfect and you never will be.
to be perfect you'd need to break away, need to break away to show them. but you cant.
don't you hate it when your like this?



Have you ever been in a situation where some one's speaking to you so intently, and no matter how hard you tried you just couldn't keep up? It's as if you know your supposed to be listening to what the other person is saying but you just can't concentrate! you keep drifting to the show that's going to come on at 9pm, or what your going to wear at your friends party tomorrow, and sub-consciously you keep nodding your head to tell the other person that you physically seem to be comprehending, where as you have no clue what the other person is talking about and in the end when that person asks you something, you suddenly snap back to reality and all you can say is "I'm sorry,what"?.